15 Fifty Shades of Grey Sex Toys — Ranked From Vanilla to Full BDSM
When Fifty Shades of Grey landed, it did something quietly important: it gave millions of people permission to be curious.
Whether you devoured the books, watched the films, or quietly googled what Christian Grey was actually doing in that red room — you’re not alone. And if part of you thought, “I’d like to try some of that” — you’re definitely not alone.
This post covers all 15 sex toys from the Fifty Shades series. I’ve ranked them on a scale from 1 (completely vanilla) to 10 (full Christian Grey energy), and given you honest, practical guidance on how to use each one — so you know what you’re getting into before you buy anything.
Whether you’re bringing these to the bedroom with a partner, or doing some curious solo research first — no judgement here. Let’s get into it.
1. Massage Oil — Rating: 1/10
Start here if you’re starting anywhere.
Massage oil is the most overlooked tool in the bedroom — not because it’s boring, but because most people skip it entirely and jump straight to sex. That’s a shame, because a proper massage before sex changes the whole experience. You’re warming up her nervous system, bringing her attention into her body, and building intimacy at the same time.
The other thing massage oil does is slow you down. Which, if you’re someone who tends to rush — or who wants to feel more present and less goal-oriented — is genuinely useful practice.
Use it for foreplay. Use it for aftercare. Use it to explore parts of her body you’ve been ignoring.
Try a warming massage oil for added sensation — most good pharmacies or adult stores carry them.
2. Blindfold — Rating: 2/10
Sensory deprivation sounds intense. It isn’t — not at this level.
Covering someone’s eyes during sex does one very specific thing: it removes distraction and forces them to feel. No self-consciousness about how they look. No visual cues to anticipate what’s coming. Just sensation, sound, and touch — all amplified because one sense has been taken away.
For men who want their partner to be more present and less in her head during sex, a blindfold is a surprisingly effective tool. And for men who want to explore a little surrender themselves — it’s worth trying both sides.
Keep it simple to start. A soft fabric blindfold is all you need — look for one with an adjustable strap so it stays put.
3. Tie — Rating: 2/10
Yes, an actual tie. The Christian Grey signature move.
Using a tie for light restraint is a great entry point into bondage — and the psychology of it is more interesting than the mechanics. When someone has their hands loosely bound, they stop trying to control the experience. They surrender to it. That shift in dynamic can unlock something in both of you.
A poll by YouGov found that 27% of British people under 40 want to try bondage. Most never do — usually because they don’t know where to start. A tie is where to start.
Use a spare tie — not one he’s planning to wear to a meeting. And if you want to take it further, I’ve written about setting up a proper BDSM space for when you’re ready.
4. Vibrating Cock Ring — Rating: 3/10
Underrated. Genuinely underrated.
A cock ring restricts blood flow from leaving the penis — which keeps erections firmer and can extend how long they last. That alone is worth knowing about if stamina or staying power is something you think about.
The vibrating version adds a layer for her too: the vibration hits her clitoris during penetration, meaning you’re both getting stimulation at the same time. It’s one of the more egalitarian toys in this list.
The Lovense Diamo is the app-controlled vibrating cock ring — she can adjust the intensity herself via her phone during sex. Or the Lovense Gush 2 takes things further still — a vibrating sleeve that wraps around the shaft and works brilliantly for solo training too.
5. Rabbit Vibrator — Rating: 4/10
A common misconception: vibrators are for solo use. They’re not.
Used during foreplay — by you, on her — a rabbit vibrator is one of the most effective tools you have. The dual motor design means it stimulates both the G-spot and the clitoris simultaneously, which is something hands and tongue alone have a harder time coordinating.
In Fifty Shades Darker, Christian uses one on Ana. The scene works because he’s fully in control of her pleasure — and she knows it. That’s the energy to bring.
The Lovense Nora is excellent — app-controlled, rechargeable, and built to last.
Want to know the manual techniques that work alongside toys like these?
My free guide — 3 Strokes for Men — covers the specific hand techniques that most men haven’t learned. Takes five minutes to read and changes the way you touch.
6. Handcuffs — Rating: 5/10
We’re getting into proper restraint territory now.
The appeal of handcuffs isn’t really about restriction — it’s about theatre. Being cuffed to a bedpost is an invitation to stop thinking and start feeling. It creates a dynamic that regular sex often lacks: clear roles, deliberate intention, heightened anticipation.
In Fifty Shades Freed, Christian cuffs Ana’s hands to her ankles — a position that deepens penetration and removes all option to hold back. Start simpler than that. Wrists to the bedpost, soft cuffs, and a clear signal between you before you start.
Try leather cuffs — more comfortable than metal, and easier to remove quickly if needed. Look for ones with a quick-release mechanism.
7. Spiked Metal Pinwheel — Rating: 6/10
Don’t let this one intimidate you.
The Wartenberg pinwheel looks alarming. In practice, it’s more like an intense tickle — the pins prickle the skin and wake up nerve endings that don’t usually get much attention. It’s especially effective when combined with a blindfold, because the sensation is completely unpredictable.
Run it slowly down her spine, along the inside of her arm, across her inner thigh. Use light pressure on sensitive areas. The reaction is often surprising — in a very good way.
Look for a nickel-free metal pinwheel so it’s body-safe — most good adult retailers stock them.
8. Ben Wa Balls — Rating: 6/10
The famous silver balls from Fifty Shades Darker.
Ben Wa balls are inserted into the vagina and create a low-level, constant internal stimulation as they move. The effect builds slowly — which is exactly the point. In the film, Ana wears them to a dinner party. The scene is electric because of what isn’t happening on screen.
Beyond the erotic use, there’s a practical benefit: they strengthen the pelvic floor, which increases sensitivity during sex for both of you over time.
Use them for no more than four hours at a time, and not during pregnancy. Start with lighter Ben Wa balls before progressing to heavier weighted ones.
9. The Wand — Rating: 6/10
If she doesn’t own one of these already, this might be the most impactful thing you can introduce to your sex life.
Wand vibrators are in a different category to regular vibrators — the motor is considerably more powerful, and the broad head covers the entire clitoral area rather than a pinpoint. For women who find orgasm elusive during partnered sex, this changes things.
Use it on her during foreplay. Use it during penetration in missionary position. Or — and this is worth trying — let her use it on herself while you watch. That’s not stepping back. That’s a choice, and it’s a very confident one.
The Lovense Domi 2 is app-controlled, so you can take the remote while she focuses on sensation.
10. Weighted Nipple Clamps — Rating: 7/10
Nipple play is one of the most overlooked forms of foreplay — and nipple clamps take it somewhere more deliberate.
Clamps restrict blood flow to the nipple, creating a building pressure that sits somewhere between numb and intensely pleasurable. The weight adds a gentle tugging sensation that heightens awareness. When you remove the clamps, the rush of blood returning is often the most intense moment of all.
There are many types — adjustable clamps are best to start, so you can control the pressure. Educate yourself on how tight is appropriate before you try. There is a learning curve, and going too tight too soon is a quick way to make this a one-time experiment.
The Lovense Gemini are app-controlled vibrating nipple clamps — adjustable pressure and vibration you can control from your phone, which makes them a lot more versatile than standard clamps.
11. Butt Plug — Rating: 7/10
Let’s be direct about this one: butt plugs aren’t only for her, and they aren’t only for gay men. The prostate — sometimes called the male G-spot — is one of the most sensitive erogenous zones on the male body, and most men never explore it.
That said, if you’re introducing a butt plug into partnered sex, start with her. Used during penetration, a plug creates a sense of fullness that intensifies orgasm significantly for many women.
Silicone, flared base, and water-based lubricant — always. The Lovense Hush 2 is the best on the market right now — app-controlled, whisper-quiet, and available in three sizes for beginners through to experienced users.
12. Vibrating Anal Beads — Rating: 8/10
Anal beads build sensation differently to a plug — the stimulation comes from both the internal vibration and the movement of the beads, particularly when they’re slowly removed at the moment of orgasm. That last part, done right, is a whole different experience.
Start small. Silicone, water-based lubricant, and take your time. The Lovense Ridge is app-controlled and designed for gradual progression — each bead is slightly larger than the last, which lets you work up at your own pace.
If any of this is making you curious about your own body as well as hers — that’s worth paying attention to.
Riding Solo is my 30-day programme for men who want to genuinely explore solo pleasure — using breath, touch, and practice to understand what your body actually responds to. Confidence in your own body translates directly into confidence with a partner.
13. Riding Crop — Rating: 9/10
The riding crop is the most iconic image in Fifty Shades — and probably the one most people are curious about but would never admit to.
Used correctly, a crop delivers a sharp, stinging sensation to fleshy areas — the thighs, the buttocks — that creates a jolt of adrenaline and floods the body with endorphins. It’s not about pain in the way most people imagine. It’s about intensity, surprise, and the electric charge of playing with power.
Only hit areas protected by muscle or fat. Never on joints, spine, kidneys, or the face. Establish a safe word before you start — not as a formality, but because it’s what makes this kind of play safe enough to actually enjoy.
Combine with a blindfold and restraints for the full experience. Get a proper purpose-made riding crop — not a novelty one. The quality difference matters.
14. Spreader Bar — Rating: 10/10
We’re at the deep end now.
A spreader bar keeps the legs parted during sex — a bar between the ankles with cuffs at each end. The effect is complete vulnerability and complete access. It prevents any instinctive closing of the legs, which means sensations that would normally trigger a retreat have nowhere to go. The result is often an orgasm that’s significantly more intense than usual.
This requires trust, communication, and a clear agreement about boundaries beforehand. If you have that, a spreader bar is one of the more powerful additions to your bedroom.
15. Rope — Rating: 10/10
Rope bondage is an art form. In its simplest form — wrists bound together, or secured to a bedpost — it creates a profound shift in dynamic. In its more advanced form (Shibari, Japanese rope bondage), it becomes something closer to sculpture: aesthetically intentional, physically intimate, and deeply focused.
You don’t need to start at Shibari. You need to start with a safe word, a basic knot you can release quickly, and safety shears nearby. Learn before you tie. Communicate throughout.
Get a purpose-made bondage rope — softer on the skin and less likely to tighten under pressure than regular rope. Most good adult retailers stock it.
Where to go from here
Reading about toys is one thing. Actually bringing new energy to the bedroom — showing up confident, present, and genuinely connected to your own body as well as hers — is something you build.
If you want to deepen your sexual confidence, not just add tools to the drawer, here’s where I’d point you:
The Library is my collection of guided erotic audios for men — $12/month, completely private, designed to help you practice presence, build sensitivity, and explore what actually feels good before you bring it to a partner. You can try the Library for only $5 for your first month.
Or if you’re ready for a more structured approach, FLAMES is the programme that takes you through the whole thing — desire, confidence, technique, and connection — step by step.
Either way: curiosity is a good sign. Don’t let it sit there quietly.
Frequently asked questions
What sex toys are in Fifty Shades of Grey?
The Fifty Shades series features 15 main toys and props, ranging from massage oil and blindfolds at the more accessible end, through vibrators, cock rings, and nipple clamps in the middle, to spreader bars, riding crops, and rope at the more advanced BDSM end.
What is the best sex toy to start with from Fifty Shades of Grey?
If you’re new to sex toys, start with massage oil (rating 1/10) or a blindfold (rating 2/10). Both are low-barrier, high-impact, and require almost no learning curve. A vibrating cock ring is also an excellent first toy for men — practical, affordable, and effective for both partners.
Is BDSM safe?
Yes, when practised with informed consent, clear communication, and agreed-upon safe words. The core principle is “safe, sane, and consensual.” For restraint play specifically, always keep safety shears nearby and establish limits before you begin.
Can sex toys improve your sex life?
Yes — but toys are tools, not solutions. They’re most effective when introduced intentionally, with communication about what both partners want. The real shift in most long-term relationships comes from rebuilding presence and desire, which toys can support but not replace on their own.
Some of the links in this blog post are affiliate links. This means that if you click on the link and make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you.